Foto-tastic Friday

Since today has been rather uneventful (seriously, how many rabbits and deer can you see before you just become blasé?) - Mom and I decided Fridays would be dedicated to photographs of - you guessed it - me!

You're welcome :)

Every now and then I have to wait for Mom - she forgets to follow me sometimes.

But my boy had a stick. Sticks rule.

I love the stick my boy made me

TADA! No crazy butt hair!!

Mom calls this my "Puppy look"

Because we can't all be cover models all the time :)

Maybe I'm just a sniffer, not a hunter.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any wilder after the monster deer episode yesterday, FBB showed me how to hunt rabbits.
Here's the thing. She gets right in the brambles. I hate that stuff. It's prickly, it's pokey, heck, Mom has to give her eyedrops cause one of the branches poked her eye so badly. She still goes in there.
So the deal is, I sniff it out, she goes in and chases the rabbit out, then we catch it.
Well, she didn't tell me I had to wait for the rabbit to come out. Much like the deer, she also didn't tell me what a rabbit looks like. I've gotta be honest with you. After seeing the deer yesterday, I wasn't too keen on seeing what a rabbit is today.

So I sniffed it out, now she's going in.

I found a trail for her, she went in full bore looking for rabbits. I kind of got bored and went around the corner with Rokko, the husky. Mom shouted - oooh look, a bunny. Well fer goodness sake, how was I supposed to know bunny and rabbit are the same thing? This little furry thing blasted past me and took off up the hill before I could even blink. It was even smaller than the cats! Here's the thing about FBB - the F stands for Fat. I mean, I'm starting to think she's an ok kind of dog and all, but once she goes into the brambles, she has a hard time getting back out again. That furry thing was past me, past Rokko and up, over the hill before she even came out of the bushes.

She didn't sound very happy with either of us when she came running by, trying to catch up with the rabbit. I'm starting to wonder if the whole "I caught a rabbit once and it was thiiiiiiiiiiiiis big" story isn't just that - a story.

I figured she'd  never catch it so I just watched her run up and over the hill. We waited and waited for her to come back and sure enough, she didn't catch it. Apparently I was supposed to stop it when it came out. She should have told me what to look for - her fault, not mine.
She finally came back with her tongue hanging down past her chest, panting her face off and surprise surprise - no bunny.
The rest of the walk was pretty uneventful but Mom patted me when we got back and congratulated me on two straight days of no crazy butt hairs.
I guess I can learn to tolerate this nutty dog - especially if it means every day gets to be like this.

So, OK, maybe I'm a lot lab

Mom was shaking her head at me today and saying she thinks there's a lot more lab in me than coonhound.
I'm not sure why she said it. I was in the compost pile snacking down on some incredibly yummy stuff. Then we went to the garden and the black dirt smelled soooo good I had to eat some of that too. Mom said it was 5 year old manure and I was crazy to eat it - either that or a lab. I'm thinking lab must be a good thing. She also said I must be part lab cause I like Kitty Krunchies - I don`t recall SAYING I like Kitty Krunchies.

Kitty Krunchies? Who, me? Why do you ask?

She's one to call ME crazy. Her kid is the one who tried to go to school this morning with his shorts on inside out. I never try to wear my fur inside out. How could he not see the pockets on the outside of the legs?
So, holy cow - I HAVE to tell you about our walk yesterday. We left later in the morning because it was pouring rain out early in the morning and the other two dogs, especially the husky, will melt if they get wet apparently. Anyway, there we are, walking around and FBB gets a whiff of something and she takes off like a shot.

And, there she goes.

Mom and I kept walking down around the corner and up over the big rock and that's when I saw them. I swear, they were monsters. There were 3 of them - they were even bigger than Dad - just standing there staring at us. Woah. I had to back up and get behind Mom, you know, to watch her back, cause someone's gotta watch her back for her. Then they just suddenly turned away and started flying. I swear to you - they were really flying. All 4 of their legs barely ever touched the ground.
That's about when FBB came crashing by shouting "Dude - THOSE are deer!!"
At which point she "chased" them. I say "chased" cause by the time she went by I couldn't even see them, much less hear them anymore.
I think I might have a bit of a new found respect for the FBB. I mean seriously, those things were more than twice her size and they can fly. I didn't see their teeth but I'm betting a dentist would be afraid of them. She says I don't need to be afraid of them, that they always just run away. I thought she was kind of stupid before, now I'm sure of it.

She didn't want to leave in case they came back.

So for the rest of the walk I figured since she's way fatter than I am, if the deer came back, they'd want to snack on her first, so it would be a good idea to hang close to her.

Don't judge me. Look, she's got waaaay more tasty fat on her than I do.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!

So, Mom says I have to get my butt in gear and post some stuff cause someone wants to read my blog!
Mom's been a bit off lately cause of that guy she calls Dentist. One day she came home and half of her face was huge. I think if I ever saw this Dentist guy I might have to have a few words with him.
So, to catch you up.
I'm almost out of that face thing. Thank goodness! I was so good on the weekend we went 2 days without needing it at all. Then Clio (AKA Fat Brown Bitch) thought she could come to Mom for scritches when I was standing right there. I am SO not down with that.
Mom says I'm lucky FBB is patient and listens to her. I say FBB better step off.
So, today when my butt hair went crazy again when I saw FBB, Dad made me wear the stupid thing. I don't know why I have to be nice to her.

This is one of Mom's humans. Maybe I can talk him into taking it off for me. Sometimes I put my head between his knees and whip my head up really fast. Then he jumps and says "Stop sacking me". Not sure what Sacking is but it makes Ronan, the little human laugh when I do it to this one.

We've been doing a lot of exploring in the back. Mom takes us out every morning. She brings this black thing and spends SO much time looking at stuff through it. Sometimes I think she forgets we're there. Mom says we have to walk a lot all together because it makes me too tired to be grouchy and I am more patient with FBB when we're walking. That's SO not it. FBB is too busy with other smells to pay much attention to Mom when we're walking so I don't have to establish who owns whom.

This is Mom's smaller human Ronan. He throws sticks for me. FBB is so stupid she doesn't even realize she's supposed to chase sticks. Ronan likes to throw sticks for me so much that he even cut a special stick just for me. He said it's very green so it will last a long time...

He's pretty good at throwing sticks. I love my stick cause it's all mine and nobody else ever touches it - especially FBB and the cats (don't think just cause I didn't mention them that I'm not still planning their demise, cause I so totally am)

I don't think I like the dentist

I almost had the cat yesterday. I was so close! Can you believe that the stupid husky was the one who stopped me? I don't think he can be called a dog anymore. What kind of dog steps between another dog and a hissing cat? Sigh, the madness in this house never ends.
Mom left me yesterday. She's never done that before. She told me she was going to the dentist, patted my head, closed the gate on the stairs and she left. There was no one here but the cats and the other dogs. I was almost upset about it but she didn't look happy about this dentist thing and my bed is so soft, I kind of just fell asleep.
Before I knew it she was back, looking even more unhappy. Since she decided to take us for a walk I figured she must be feeling better.
By the time we got back from the walk I could pretty much tell she was not feeling better - at all. I think she was feeling worse. She didn't even respond when I flipped her hand with my snout.
Finally she rubbed my head, lifted my lip and said that I have to go to the dentist next week.
Well, I don't know what "next week" is and I don't know what "dentist" is, but I don't think I want to go.

I think my teeth look just fine, don't you?

But She's MINE now.

So, we're out walking in the front this morning. I'm happy and I'm showing Mom how happy I am, jumping up and down, racing back and forth, bumping her hand with my head.
Then along comes that fat, dumb, b*tch who lives here thinking SHE can get some of MY Mom's attention.
Well. That's not cool and it's not going to be happening if I can help it.
I growled and lunged. Wow. Stuff got pretty intense for a while there. Mom was yelling, Dad tried to hold my collar but I slipped it off, then the stupid dog tried to back away from me but I wasn't done laying down the law so I went after her some more. I had to show her. This is MY Mom and SHE can't have her. Dad tried to lie down on top of me to make me stop, then he put his whole body between me and the other dog. The male was smart - he just sat and watched.
The female backed away again and I was going to finish her off - I mean really - what is she doing here anyway? This is MY home.
That's when I realized Mom was telling me NO! Pretty loud too. She stepped in front of me and put up her hand and said a very angry NO again. Then she pointed away from her and said GO!
Dad made me go with him to the house. When I looked back, Mom was sitting on the ground and the female was leaning on her shaking. I could hear Mom telling her she was sorry and saying Thank you for being a good dog.
Good DOG? She is NOT a good DOG. She needs to go away.
But then Mom looked at me and she was sad. This pretty much took all of my energy away. Mom was very sad. She was shaking too. I looked over at Dad and he was hosing his leg off because it was scratched up and muddy from trying to get on the ground between us.
For the rest of the day, Mom kept me with her and away from the other dogs. Everywhere she went in the house, she made me go with her. Finally, she left me with Dad and she drove away.
When she came back, she brought her little human and said it was time for a walk - YES!! I LOVE WALKS!!
Then she showed me this cagey thing with treats inside it. I ate out the treats, then she put it on my face. It felt funny. Once it was on my face, she let me be with the other dogs. I wanted to take the thing off but Mom said to keep me safe, I had to wear it.
Keep me safe. pffft. I'm not the one who needs to be kept safe. That other female might be bigger and younger than me, but I can still show her who's the real boss.
She  said I had to learn to trust that no one here will hurt me, not even the other dogs. I need to learn to trust them so I won't try to hurt them.
I don't like the thing. Now I have to wear it in the yard but not so much when we walk. Mom says when we walk, I forget that I don't trust the other dogs because I'm too busy sniffing stuff.
What she doesn't know is that when we walk, we're equal and they don't try stealing my Mom away from me. Maybe she'll learn. But until then, I'm going to have to wear this stupid thing in the yard.

How do you liven up a 5 year old mutt and an 8 year old husky?

You add a 10 year old coonhound to the mix, that's how.
These two are so incredibly lazy it's astounding. How can they not get excited about everything that's back there? Sure, sure they've been back there hundreds of times, I've only been back there a pawful of times but each time there's MORE to smell!! I was so excited I wanted to jump off of the porch. Mom (I've decided that since 2 of her humans call her that - it must be her name) spoiled that by stopping me and making me walk down the stairs.
Then she took us for a walk out back. It was sooooooo cool. There were quail, ducks and robins squawking and flying everywhere. I could smell something that Clio, the other female dog, said is deer. She said that sometimes if they get too close to the house where Mom was working this weekend we get to chase them. Same with the rabbits. Apparently we're not supposed to catch the rabbits. Clio (Mom calls her Sausage sometimes) said that she caught one once and Mom screeched louder than she did when I tried to fix the cat. I'm still not done fixing the cat. I just have to figure out how to do it when Mom's not watching.
As I sniffed my way down the path, I found a really nice smelly trail. It was pretty fresh. Even the lazy dogs were pretty excited about it. Partway through the path there was a pile of poo that smelled kind of like the stuff in the sand boxes in the basement, but a lot stronger. There were bits of bone and fur mixed in with the poo.
It smelled sooooo good I felt like I was in stink heaven. I was going to drop and roll in it but Mom stopped me. She looked at the pile and the next thing I knew we were marching right back to the house. I sure wish I could talk so I could have complained. That wasn't much of a walk at all. We didn't even get to stop and look at the ducks on the way back. Plus, I wanted to keep following that trail. It smelled pretty good!
Partway back to the house Rokko, the male dog - I think he has some serious issues - not the brightest bulb in the box that boy - decided he would simply walk off into the bush towards the neighbour's house. They have two barky dogs I can hear almost all day long. Mom called him but he kept walking. I think maybe she suspects he's deaf (silly woman doesn't realize he just ignores her) because she called him louder and louder. It was like when she tries to get him to sit, stay, lie down, go out, come in - always the same story. He acts like he can't hear her but he can, he just doesn't want to do what she says.
When we got back to the house, Mom made up for the short walk by throwing my new ball for me. I killed it good this time. I'm pretty sure it won't be able to fly or bounce ever again. I gave it a few extra good head shakes for good measure.

It was pretty flat when I was done with it.

I am so under appreciated.

I may have mentioned a few times before that my human is not quite right in the head.
There are two cats living in this house. They walk wherever they want, lie on chairs, the couch, the beds. One of them even lies on her desk while she works.
She had no idea how evil and devious these creatures are. She doesn't know they're laughing at her behind her back. She's completely unaware that they're planning her ultimate demise.
I see through their disguises though. I see the true evil that lies within. The other dogs give these cats a wide berth. The other dogs are sissies. They are not truly protectors of our human. It is up to me to keep her safe from the vermin.
You'd think she'd express a little appreciation but no - she screeched when I tried to dispatch one for her. She screeched - at me! This demon in a furry skin looked right at me, I saw through its machinations and knew what had to be done, but she stopped me.
Then she picked it up!! It watched me from over her shoulder and I could see its triumphant sneer.
Sneer away kitty cat. I know where you sleep.
My vigil continues.

Don't tell her I said this but...

I think my human is a little odd.
Today she took me out, down by the river. She had a bag of shiny things with her.
She took the shiny things out of the bag one by one and put them on the ground, behind rocks, under logs and in tree branches. I tried to help her pick them up, but she wanted them to stay where she put them.
Then we went back to the house and got her little humans. She gave her little humans bags, then they went down and started putting the shiny things back in the bags. Does this make sense to you?
I thought she'd let me help then but no, she didn't want me helping to pick them up, so I waited with her and I watched.
The little humans got some of the shinies, but they missed a lot of them. I couldn't help myself I had to show them. Even when I sniffed the shinies though, no one noticed.
Finally my human came down and started picking up the last of the shinies. I have to tell you. I think my human might be a little slow in the head. She spent a loooong time looking for two shinies and I kept showing  her where they were. You'd think if she put them there, she could pick them back up.
I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with her but don't tell her I told you. It doesn't make me love her less. She finally did notice that I was showing her where they were, so all of the shinies finally got put into the bags, and she said I was a smart girl.
We just won't tell her that I know I'm smarter than her - kay?

My first days

I was a little confused the first morning when I woke up and I heard her voice again, but one touch from her hand reminded me. This was now home.
She brought me downstairs and opened the door. It was as if an all you can sniff buffet had opened up in front of me. That green was still everywhere. There were birds in the grass, butterflies and bumblebees in the flowers. I could hear the frogs singing from the river running in the lower field. I couldn't help it. I jumped out the door. The other dogs followed me, pushing and shoving, but somehow I didn't really care. There was just so much to smell.
My human took me out that day with the other female dog and 3 of her humans. We went so far and smelled so much. I found ducks!
I was so excited I sort of forgot that I am not a puppy anymore. I jumped, I ran, I swam (it was marvelous!)
When we got back to my beautiful soft bed, I was happy to lie down. When I wanted to get back up, it wasn't very easy. I have never felt sore like this.
My human's man rubbed his fingers in my hips. He rubbed circles in there and when he was done I could walk without limping again.
There's a room in this new place that has all of the food. My human goes in there and good smells start to come out of it. I like to go in to this space and check the floor in case she has lost any good bits. Sometimes it seems as if she looses many extra good bits.
I have only had my human for one day but I do not like it if I cannot see her. I don't like her to be far away from me. She carries my bed everywhere she goes so that I can lie with her if I want. She tried to teach me to sit but I can't. It just doesn't work. When I try, I end up lying down, so she brings my bed everywhere in the house so if I want to lie down, I can lie down on my beautiful soft bed.

So. Much. Green.

How it began

My name is Nikko. I am a ten year old coonhound mixed with lab.
This is my story.
You might think this story would be about the first ten years of my life. It's not.

I don't remember a whole lot about that time. I remember it was quiet. My world was grey. There weren't very many smells. It was pretty cold, and the ground was hard. There was a lady who brought me food, and brought me water. Sometimes she touched me. Touches bring colours. Sometimes she talked to me. It was nice to not have the quiet. Mostly though, I was alone.

Then I was in a place that was brighter and much noisier. There, there was noise. There, there was so much noise. There was a dog I could hear, he was excited, he was worried, he shouted - all the time.
The ladies there put me in a room with some other dogs. The dogs pushed, they shoved, they stuck their noses in my face and in other parts of me that no one had ever stuck their noses in. They were noisy. I had never met a dog before, suddenly I was meeting many. They made me nervous, so I growled. One of them growled back, so I bit them. Things got kind of crazy after that.
The ladies took me away and put me back in the small space. It was a lot like my last space, only smaller.
I was alone in that space too. There was another dog there for a little while, but I growled at her too. Then I tried to bite her because she growled at me. I didn't know what she wanted, she scared me.
The ladies there came to see me sometimes. Othertimes people took me out. At first, they would be happy with me, smile, talk with bright colours. Later the ladies were mostly sad. One lady was so sad, I tried to rub her with my head to make her happy. I even took all of my medecine for my sores nicely so that she would be happy. Sometimes she rubbed my head and sighed.
One day I heard another human. She was talking to the noisy ones. Her voice was soft and sounded like light. It made things brighter. I could hear her coming closer. I pressed up hard against the bars, I could almost see her.
Then she was there touching me, with gentle hands, smelling of so many things I had never smelled before, rubbing my shoulders and sore ears softly. Her touches brought me rainbows. She knew my name.
Before I knew it, I was outside, in her car with her and her man and we were on our way.
The place we stopped was like nothing I had ever seen before. There was green everywhere. Here too there were dogs. Only two, but they still stuck their noses in my rear and my face. I growled and snapped. They didn't pull me away and put me in a room by myself, they just rubbed me more.
That first night, they gave me a soft, soft bed in a warm home full of humans, cats and other dogs. They took me outside to smell so many things: trees, ponds, rabbit holes, deer bones. More smells than I'd ever imagined  in my many dreams.
That first night was the first night of my real life. My real life began when I was ten. Many would say that being ten means that my existence was almost over, but truly, my life was just beginning.